How can I get my unicorn to stop eating so much?

Here is what you do, this is a common problem. First, you need to take him to a reaally high place, maybe if you have a friend with a team of pegasi, you can just fly him there (before anyone suggests helicopters, of COURSE unicorns are allergic) Then you get a squad of leprechaun commandos to initiate him into their unit, then he goes on duty with them fighting all the gold stealing humans around the world, and when he comes back he should only have a taste for human flesh... hmm that didnt work